Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize