The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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