That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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