A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize