Don't you send me to vm
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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