While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
