It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
