I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
