she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
