So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
