will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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