We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
