problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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