We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
