The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize