remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
