sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
