Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
