It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
