Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
