If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
