ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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