OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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