I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
