just come out here and I will go home with you...
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
