He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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