Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
