We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
