your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
