I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize