clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
