You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize