I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Send help, water and tortillas.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
