Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
