I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
