Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
