I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
