Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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