is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
