girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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