I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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