I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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