This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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