I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
