Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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