its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
