he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
