I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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