break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
