Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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