I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
A+ Viking dick
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize