I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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