There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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