The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
